It's been such a long time since i come here.. it's like, i will realize that i actually have this blog only once every year.. sad thing right..
Things have been quite 'same' as usual.. less the component of 'aged'.. my current job (ahh yes, still the same one since i graduated) is driving me nuts. The hours that i worked in office each day is.. from 9am - 2am (17 hrs in total, less 1 hr for lunch and 1 hr for dinner = 15 effective hrs/day) (!!!!) 15 hrs !! ok, maybe an hour or 2 less for surfing the net and chatting with colleagues... but still, it's over-excessive??
For the past 1 month or so, it has been like this everyday. I really felt very miserable at work, although there are some people like me.. maybe 2 or 3 colleagues who are also in the same shoes.. maybe they are already 'immuned' to such a life and have given out all hopes to go home early.. but i dun want such a life.. to me, it's like living without a soul.
Work to me, is a dread. The work is actually ok, but the tight deadlines and the amount of work that i have to complete, is alot. If i have reasonable amount of time to finish the work, i won't be so grumpy.. oh well.. this is the life of an auditor.
Bleh.
Sometimes i wish time can U-turn back to the days when i am back in my junior college. I like the time spend there, and if i had not chosen accountancy as my major in NTU.. things wouldn't have turned out like this...
Now, i wonder if i will be able to survive this for another 1 year.. It's really hard for me, but the only thing that is holding me back is the pay. (Actually auditors are quite well-paid compared to other lines.) As the saying goes, "Sometimes you lose, but sometimes you win". There is no free lunch in the world.. Oh well...
I only wish now, to find small joy in the daily things that i do, and be able to fulfull 3 years in my current job..
God bless.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Renewed Start with God
To begin with, I wan to say how time really flies..
It has been around 1 year & 1mth since i came to know of God..
What have i done within tis 1 year & 1 mth journey?
It's worth thinking back & reflecting upon myself.. (I think I need it definitely)..
At least to repent (since we cant travel back time) & to walk in the ways that God want us to be, to be whom he want us to be..
During this past 1 year, my obedience & faithfulness to God (as well as to my sisters & brothers in church) is not worth mentioning.. Perhaps I broke the faith & trust of many of my sisters & brothers.. (it's not obvious, but deep in my heart, i know..)
What my sisters, brothers and pastors always reiterate: To seek not for worldy desires, but to seek for God's kingdom and your riches will be in heaven. This sounds so apt and correct, but to say to want to do it is another thing. The battle between the heart and the mind. In my mind, I know that I have to follow God's way which is what is right and which is God want us to do. Whereas in my heart.. it says another story. I need to bring my heart back to God, someway or other.
Since my walk with God began on 18/04/2008, I've been through 3 CGS. Every CG is unique and the sisters & brothers are always so caring and perfect (in my eyes). I always think to myself: How could I possibly be like them, to have hearts like theirs, to think and behave just like them? How is it that they are able to be so obedient to God and to always put God in first priority? Perhaps they do sacrifice alot of other things to be able to be steadfast in their walk with God, as they already knew 100% that God is whom they want to be with, that God is eventually everything and anything that they are today.. Without God, they won't be what they are today. It's easy to say, but to do it and follow through.. it proves obstacles personally to me. My heart is not firm and I have to admit I'm very easily swayed by temptations of wordly desires.
Today (or i mean yesterday), something pulled me back to my senses (not totally, but at least I felt that I really need a change, a change of my hardened heart). The 'something' is my current CG (3rd CG) which will be my CG for the next 2-3 weeks (and which I'll be in another CG cos of restructuring). I really apologise to Jan (my CL) much for not being able to turn up for most (or almost all) CG meetups. Previously it was my heart that i do not want to turn up (that's very inobedient..) and subsequently, it's either work or other distractions that made me decide not to turn up for CGS. Sorry Jan! Next, the another person that I really really really want to thank is my 2 other sisters in my CG (Xinying and Wei ling). Xin ying is a sister with very big heart, high level of patience, very faithful to God, very concerned about everyone, very nice person, essentially, someone in my eyes, perfect and wonderful. (She might deny it, but to me, u are) The very frequent sms, meetups and never ending encouragements might seem normal & common, but, it did impact me somehow. Guilt. Guilt-conscious. I'm guilty of that. Escaping it is always the easiest way. Easiest but not worth praising or recommending. In fact, escaping it is perhaps the worst behaviour. To escape from the truth, to not think about anything that affects my heart and mind, to just forget about it and to not bother about anything, that's what I think I've been doing for the past 8mths. (that's long...) This sister Xin ying, I really want to thank her for bringing and never failing to inch me closer to God (although I think she already knew my heart is suaying..).. THANK U SIS! for everything, totally and greatly. It's my good fortune to meet and know a sister like u.. really. Totally.. If I were to list out everything that u've done for me, this would take many pages (and long essays)... Thank u sis!
Wei Ling is another sis that I wan to thank too.. though i did not talk much to her, but she's a very nice & very faithful to God.. (I think I'm so blessed with the people around me.. I think God is using these sisters to draw me back to Him, and.. THANK u!! cos.. these sisters played a very huge role in making me want to come back to God..) Beside these sisters, I want to thank the brothers as well.. Eugene, Wei Jian, Joo Tat, Ellson, Jan and Da Shun (hmm?) too.. I really had a fun time being in the same CG as u guys.. especially in the Uni YA camp.. im very very very thankful to know brothers like u.. I really think I'm so blessed by the people around me.. that God put me with such wonderful brothers and sisters.. God is amazing ya..! God never leave his children alone.. Indeed :)
Thank u my dearest CG :) In few weeks to come, we might all be different CG. Though it's sorrow to part, but God has better plans for everyone of us. Mixed feelings for me definitely, but I know even if we are in different CG, we are all still God's children, still in His family :)
Throughout tis period of time with God, I want to really thank all the CGs that I've been in as well as when I just came to know of God.. the many people whom brought me closer to God and make me come to know of Him.. Thank u..
I pray that everyone of us will walk faithfully with Him in our everyday life and to seek for His Kingdom in all things. I too, hope to have a renewed relationship with Him starting today and to walk in His ways, and to strive to be what He want me to be.
Thank u all my sisters & brothers.
Thank u God for not leaving me alone.
God bless all :)
Amen.
It has been around 1 year & 1mth since i came to know of God..
What have i done within tis 1 year & 1 mth journey?
It's worth thinking back & reflecting upon myself.. (I think I need it definitely)..
At least to repent (since we cant travel back time) & to walk in the ways that God want us to be, to be whom he want us to be..
During this past 1 year, my obedience & faithfulness to God (as well as to my sisters & brothers in church) is not worth mentioning.. Perhaps I broke the faith & trust of many of my sisters & brothers.. (it's not obvious, but deep in my heart, i know..)
What my sisters, brothers and pastors always reiterate: To seek not for worldy desires, but to seek for God's kingdom and your riches will be in heaven. This sounds so apt and correct, but to say to want to do it is another thing. The battle between the heart and the mind. In my mind, I know that I have to follow God's way which is what is right and which is God want us to do. Whereas in my heart.. it says another story. I need to bring my heart back to God, someway or other.
Since my walk with God began on 18/04/2008, I've been through 3 CGS. Every CG is unique and the sisters & brothers are always so caring and perfect (in my eyes). I always think to myself: How could I possibly be like them, to have hearts like theirs, to think and behave just like them? How is it that they are able to be so obedient to God and to always put God in first priority? Perhaps they do sacrifice alot of other things to be able to be steadfast in their walk with God, as they already knew 100% that God is whom they want to be with, that God is eventually everything and anything that they are today.. Without God, they won't be what they are today. It's easy to say, but to do it and follow through.. it proves obstacles personally to me. My heart is not firm and I have to admit I'm very easily swayed by temptations of wordly desires.
Today (or i mean yesterday), something pulled me back to my senses (not totally, but at least I felt that I really need a change, a change of my hardened heart). The 'something' is my current CG (3rd CG) which will be my CG for the next 2-3 weeks (and which I'll be in another CG cos of restructuring). I really apologise to Jan (my CL) much for not being able to turn up for most (or almost all) CG meetups. Previously it was my heart that i do not want to turn up (that's very inobedient..) and subsequently, it's either work or other distractions that made me decide not to turn up for CGS. Sorry Jan! Next, the another person that I really really really want to thank is my 2 other sisters in my CG (Xinying and Wei ling). Xin ying is a sister with very big heart, high level of patience, very faithful to God, very concerned about everyone, very nice person, essentially, someone in my eyes, perfect and wonderful. (She might deny it, but to me, u are) The very frequent sms, meetups and never ending encouragements might seem normal & common, but, it did impact me somehow. Guilt. Guilt-conscious. I'm guilty of that. Escaping it is always the easiest way. Easiest but not worth praising or recommending. In fact, escaping it is perhaps the worst behaviour. To escape from the truth, to not think about anything that affects my heart and mind, to just forget about it and to not bother about anything, that's what I think I've been doing for the past 8mths. (that's long...) This sister Xin ying, I really want to thank her for bringing and never failing to inch me closer to God (although I think she already knew my heart is suaying..).. THANK U SIS! for everything, totally and greatly. It's my good fortune to meet and know a sister like u.. really. Totally.. If I were to list out everything that u've done for me, this would take many pages (and long essays)... Thank u sis!
Wei Ling is another sis that I wan to thank too.. though i did not talk much to her, but she's a very nice & very faithful to God.. (I think I'm so blessed with the people around me.. I think God is using these sisters to draw me back to Him, and.. THANK u!! cos.. these sisters played a very huge role in making me want to come back to God..) Beside these sisters, I want to thank the brothers as well.. Eugene, Wei Jian, Joo Tat, Ellson, Jan and Da Shun (hmm?) too.. I really had a fun time being in the same CG as u guys.. especially in the Uni YA camp.. im very very very thankful to know brothers like u.. I really think I'm so blessed by the people around me.. that God put me with such wonderful brothers and sisters.. God is amazing ya..! God never leave his children alone.. Indeed :)
Thank u my dearest CG :) In few weeks to come, we might all be different CG. Though it's sorrow to part, but God has better plans for everyone of us. Mixed feelings for me definitely, but I know even if we are in different CG, we are all still God's children, still in His family :)
Throughout tis period of time with God, I want to really thank all the CGs that I've been in as well as when I just came to know of God.. the many people whom brought me closer to God and make me come to know of Him.. Thank u..
I pray that everyone of us will walk faithfully with Him in our everyday life and to seek for His Kingdom in all things. I too, hope to have a renewed relationship with Him starting today and to walk in His ways, and to strive to be what He want me to be.
Thank u all my sisters & brothers.
Thank u God for not leaving me alone.
God bless all :)
Amen.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Im BACK
oo woah.
been 5 months since i last blogged..
time flies......
partly cos i forgotten i have a blog.. and secondly, i forgotten my PW..
previously tried to login.. but always failed..
this time round.. i tried once (thought of giving it a shot)..
and strangely, it's correct.. so weird.. life is weird. Yes.
anyway.. this past period of time of absence from blogging..
due to many reasons.. need sometime to settle myself..
haha. yes yes. i said that duno since when.. maybe last year nov (2008)..
zZzz.
pray for myself ~
well, got to work now~~ (lots work!)..
gambatte to myself.. !
God bless all :)
been 5 months since i last blogged..
time flies......
partly cos i forgotten i have a blog.. and secondly, i forgotten my PW..
previously tried to login.. but always failed..
this time round.. i tried once (thought of giving it a shot)..
and strangely, it's correct.. so weird.. life is weird. Yes.
anyway.. this past period of time of absence from blogging..
due to many reasons.. need sometime to settle myself..
haha. yes yes. i said that duno since when.. maybe last year nov (2008)..
zZzz.
pray for myself ~
well, got to work now~~ (lots work!)..
gambatte to myself.. !
God bless all :)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas 2008
Hey harlow!
Merry Christmas to all!!
May this christmas season bring u loads of happiness, laughter & joy! :)
Take care!
God bless! :)
Merry Christmas to all!!
May this christmas season bring u loads of happiness, laughter & joy! :)
Take care!
God bless! :)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Christmas is comin!
Hmm..
It's been sometime since I last blogged..
Lazy.. tired.. not sure what to blog.. simply.. don't feel like blogging.. my heart just isn't there..
My peak is coming.. 2 - 3 more weeks to Jan 2009..
I'm definitely not looking forward to it (esp the OT)..
It will come, slowly but surely...
But looking on the bright side.. the entire of next week is my leave..!! (grins)
wahahaha. Happy happy!
Past few weeks I think I played too much.. :(
I'm guilty of it.. Abit neglect the WOG.. noOooOooo..
And I spent alot past few days.. ALOT..
I think I'm caught up in the Christmas Festive Season already.. At this rate, I'm going broke very soon..
It's Christmas Time!! *excited*
How I wish there's SNOW in Singapore.. white snow.. :)
(dreams).. heh...
God bless all yea..
It's been sometime since I last blogged..
Lazy.. tired.. not sure what to blog.. simply.. don't feel like blogging.. my heart just isn't there..
My peak is coming.. 2 - 3 more weeks to Jan 2009..
I'm definitely not looking forward to it (esp the OT)..
It will come, slowly but surely...
But looking on the bright side.. the entire of next week is my leave..!! (grins)
wahahaha. Happy happy!
Past few weeks I think I played too much.. :(
I'm guilty of it.. Abit neglect the WOG.. noOooOooo..
And I spent alot past few days.. ALOT..
I think I'm caught up in the Christmas Festive Season already.. At this rate, I'm going broke very soon..
It's Christmas Time!! *excited*
How I wish there's SNOW in Singapore.. white snow.. :)
(dreams).. heh...
God bless all yea..
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Working is..
Hmmm.. Nowadays blogging less & less.. Maybe cos reached home later & later.. Lesser time to blog..
This week was a very rush week.. Practically everyday I reached home near midnight or after midnight.. I feel it's not good.. Cos I don't get to really read the Bible.. or reflect upon myself.. However.. I find the sense of being busy quite satisfying.. The working life may be like this.. Work from morning ing to evening/night.. If have time, then go out with friends to chat chat, relax and chill.. If no time, it'll be go home, slp (or maybe work), then leave for work next morning.. For me, it's very important to maintain friendship.. Not those surfaced kind. Anyone can also maintain a surfaced-level friendship. I prefer and cherished a more closed & tight-knitted friendship.. in which we are more than just friends.. Those kinds that will remain even after years.. But.. where to find time to meet up.. The working life is just so.. full of uncertainty.. I can never predict what time I can leave work.. Just only estimate and pray that I don't have to stay late on days that I need to go out.. Hee.
But so far, God is good.. Though it's been a hectic week, but I feel quite satisfied.. and managed to scrape through the week! Thank God! :)
Hee, later is service! :) Yay!
Hope to see all my sis & bro..
God bless and have a great weekend!
This week was a very rush week.. Practically everyday I reached home near midnight or after midnight.. I feel it's not good.. Cos I don't get to really read the Bible.. or reflect upon myself.. However.. I find the sense of being busy quite satisfying.. The working life may be like this.. Work from morning ing to evening/night.. If have time, then go out with friends to chat chat, relax and chill.. If no time, it'll be go home, slp (or maybe work), then leave for work next morning.. For me, it's very important to maintain friendship.. Not those surfaced kind. Anyone can also maintain a surfaced-level friendship. I prefer and cherished a more closed & tight-knitted friendship.. in which we are more than just friends.. Those kinds that will remain even after years.. But.. where to find time to meet up.. The working life is just so.. full of uncertainty.. I can never predict what time I can leave work.. Just only estimate and pray that I don't have to stay late on days that I need to go out.. Hee.
But so far, God is good.. Though it's been a hectic week, but I feel quite satisfied.. and managed to scrape through the week! Thank God! :)
Hee, later is service! :) Yay!
Hope to see all my sis & bro..
God bless and have a great weekend!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Trip back to NTU-SBS
Today our YG unit made a trip back to Ntu-SBS to visit our dear sisters & brothers who are studying hard for their exams.. I can't believe I'm one of those who are studying there just only in April this year, yet this time round I went back there to bless them with food and to catch up with them abit.. The feeling is very very different.. But it's quite heartening to see quite alot of new faces in the room.. :) God is so great!
I was very thankful that I managed to go down.. It has been really very long since I last chatted with the NYC people.. I managed to chat with the people I'm more familiar with :) *happy happy* Though I'm not sure if I'm delaying their studies.. but well... we'll catch up more in future! Haha. Definitely! U guys must jia you jia you in your papers! Left 1 week + to chiong and it'll be over!
Today it wasn't just a trip back to NTU.. It was a very heart-felt day for me.. Me, MM & Rach finally got together, sat down somewhere near Boon Lay MRT and chatted for sometime before going home.. This kind of experience and get-together has been seldom.. I'm not too sure when was the last time we 3 get to meet and chat.. but today, I'm so very thankful that God brought us together.. The feeling was.. indescribable.. I really wished and hoped that there'd more of such get-togethers in future..
I'm really so very thankful to have all these sisters & brothers around me.. to know of them is such a total blessing and great honour.. Every single person matters to me.. :)
God is good.. and real!
God bless!
I was very thankful that I managed to go down.. It has been really very long since I last chatted with the NYC people.. I managed to chat with the people I'm more familiar with :) *happy happy* Though I'm not sure if I'm delaying their studies.. but well... we'll catch up more in future! Haha. Definitely! U guys must jia you jia you in your papers! Left 1 week + to chiong and it'll be over!
Today it wasn't just a trip back to NTU.. It was a very heart-felt day for me.. Me, MM & Rach finally got together, sat down somewhere near Boon Lay MRT and chatted for sometime before going home.. This kind of experience and get-together has been seldom.. I'm not too sure when was the last time we 3 get to meet and chat.. but today, I'm so very thankful that God brought us together.. The feeling was.. indescribable.. I really wished and hoped that there'd more of such get-togethers in future..
I'm really so very thankful to have all these sisters & brothers around me.. to know of them is such a total blessing and great honour.. Every single person matters to me.. :)
God is good.. and real!
God bless!
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